


Bokuto’s Super Cool and Epic List of His Top 10 Favouritest Things in the World!!!! (THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!!)

by scrappaperscribbles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Canon Compliant, Feelings Realization, Headcanon, Lists, M/M, Pining, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29618247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrappaperscribbles/pseuds/scrappaperscribbles
Summary: One time I got my hair cut and when I left it smelled really nice and it lasted the whole day! So cool! I didn’t notice any flakes but then Sarukui said if the gel wasn’t flaking that meant my hair was absorbing it and then it would travel down to my skull and then my brain would grow a gel cast.I think he was teasing me. I hope.Or: If squats with bad form are an ailment to the spine, linear algebra is an ailment to Bokuto's mind, and the only remedy is to write a list of his favorite things to purge his brain of his least.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji & Fukuroudani Volleyball Club, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Fukuroudani Volleyball Club
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Bokuto’s Super Cool and Epic List of His Top 10 Favouritest Things in the World!!!! (THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!!)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic and I wrote it to escape the throes of (surprise surprise) linear algebra. I'll be very surprised if this gets even one (1) read, but if you do happen to be that one (1) reader, I am super open to feedback so please do not hold back on me!!

Bokuto’s Super Cool and Epic List of His Top 10 Favouritest Things in the World!!!! (THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!!)  
10\. When he. Hm. Writing me as not-me is hard. I’m starting again. 

My Super Cool and Epic List of My Top 10 Favouritest Things in the World!!!! (Really! I mean it! The WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!) In Increasing Order of Likedness (this sounds very Akaashi-like)

10\. When I get a really cool idea off the court! 

Yea, it’s really cool to look at a block and know how to work around it because that way I know I’m not leaving all the work up to Akaashi, which would suck because he thinks too much and gets that little furrow in his brow and I don’t want him to have wrinkles by third year because of me.

But SOMETIMES it’s really cool when I get an idea OFF the court!

Like that time I put a whoopee cushion inside Konoha’s backpack after morning practice and when he set it down too hard during first period his whole class laughed so hard that I could hear it through the walls.  
Except I never told him it was me and he still gave me a noogie during afternoon practice. Huh. 

Or like now!! When I couldn’t figure out how to do that stupid math problem I decided to be projective, or whatever that word is, and write a list instead! I know Akaashi keeps lots of lists, so that must mean I’m becoming much more mature!!

9\. When I get a really cool idea on the court!

A lot of the time in school I have to stop myself from wondering if I’ll ever be good at anything. I really think I could be good at stuff (school stuff) except it’s really hard to stay in the seat all the time and watch the board. And sometimes the teacher is too fast and sometimes they’re too slow and if I don’t ask enough questions I don’t understand it, but I feel really bad because I know others understand it and maybe I’m slowing them down with my questions? I don’t like slowing others down.

But this is my list of likes! So yeah! 

On the court it never feels like I’m slowing others down and the plays never feel too slow or too fast! I mean yeah, the plays can be slow and they can be fast but that’s just volleyball! I don’t really have to ask questions. And so then, when I get the ball I can actually think and it feels really good especially when it hits the other side with a BAM even if there’s a really annoying block!!!!!! And yeah, when that happens it’s like the sound fills my head and takes up so much space that suddenly there’s no room to worry about whether I’ll ever be able to understand trigonometry or fluently read kanji. 

Except it does feel really good to have those ideas on the court and so I wonder what it would be like to have a WHAM or a KAPOOSH during a math test. That’s all.

8\. My hair gel!

I used to use a cheap one from the toiletries aisle of the convenience store but it was flakey and wouldn’t last and I think it smelled a bit like glue. Or maybe I just smelled like glue back then? I hope it was the gel.

But then!! One time I got my hair cut and when I left it smelled really nice and it lasted the whole day! So cool! I didn’t notice any flakes but then Sarukui said if the gel wasn’t flaking that meant my hair was absorbing it and then it would travel down to my skull and then my brain would grow a gel cast. 

I think he was teasing me. I hope. 

But yeah! I went back and asked for the gel and I bought it with my birthday money. It wasn’t cheap but I think it’s worth it, because if I’m the best then my hair needs to be the best too! 

I can’t really tell what it smells like but one time it started raining when I was walking to practice and I didn’t have my umbrella so the gel started washing out. But then Akaashi showed up with his umbrella and when I got underneath he looked up at me with this weird thing in his eyes and said, “Please check the weather forecast before you start running out the door Bokuto-san. Morning practice won’t go anywhere.” I almost didn’t hear him because I noticed Akaashi’s umbrella was the same colour as nanohana and I was wondering if that was on purpose. Also, I could hardly even hear him over the rain, so I think I might have superpowers for hearing the next little part because Akaashi looked down all confused and I don’t think he meant to say it out loud but I kind of heard “You smell weird.” He sounded all small and hoarse and un-Akaashi. 

When I restyled my hair after practice I asked Kaori to smell it and tell me if it smelled weird (I didn’t ask Yukippe because what if it smelled like food? Then she’d just say it smelled good, even though nobody wants their hair to smell like food.) and she said she was surprised I was capable of smelling even remotely good. Then she asked for the 500 yen she let me borrow and I suddenly forgot something in the boy’s locker room and had to look for it until I heard Suzu leave. 

Coincidence.

So it’s just Akaashi who thinks my gel smells weird, which sucks. But I’m pretty sure my sick hair makes up for it anyway!

7\. Small spoons.

One time Kuroo made me go out to this dessert place with him because he heard Daishou got a job there and he wanted to “establish superiority.” Whatever that is. I only went because Kuroo promised me he’d pay (and also because we hadn’t seen each other in a couple weeks but DON’T LET HIM KNOW. Kuroo gets too proud too easily).

Daishou wasn’t on his shift, but I got a Kuroo-sponsored sundae and it had these cute little candy animals on top and they gave me a small spoon to eat it with!! Small spoons are so cool because I can finish the bite quicker and then I can put MORE of it into my mouth a lot more quickly. I think they’re a good invention.

6\. Blocks with Tsukki!

He’s so skinny and weak and bad at blocking so it’s super easy to get spikes past him. Akaashi says I’m just using him as an ego boost, but just because it’s my fault that my spikes are so awesome doesn’t mean it’s my fault that Tsukki’s blocks suck. Hmph. Plus Tsukki said that he’s in first year so he’s gonna get even taller and stronger but that’s so silly because he hardly even practices. Silly sucky block Tsukki.

5\. Karasuno’s super quick is SO COOL!!!

At first I used to be jealous because Akaashi said we couldn’t try something like that, but now whenever I see them do it it’s like watching Kenma clear a level in a super tough game, so it’s really hard to feel jealous. Also because Hinata’s really cool. So cool in fact, that I think I’ll stop calling him Hinata and maybe just call him my disciple. Because I’m the coolest. Plus whenever his quick makes it past the blockers I can feel the WHOOSH in my stomach and it’s almost like I’m spiking it!!! SO COOL!!!

4\. Grilled mackerel. Don’t tell Kuroo though or else his head will get even BIGGER.

3\. YA-KI-NI-KU!

Food in general is really great (especially after practice and games!!) but yakiniku always manages to make my stomach feel super warm and then all of me feels super warm. I think that’s what they call a food coma. Yukippe says she has no clue what that is.

I’m scared of her.

Other foods taste great the first time (like ice cream!) but then the more and more and more I eat, the less tasty they get. But yakiniku always tastes good, no matter what! Komi says it’s because I’m a meathead, but he’s just mad he got food poisoning the last time we went. 

Plus it’s super fun to go with people because it’s funny to see how they cook their meat. Washio gets super red in the face because of the grill and it makes him look like a grouchy tomato, except he didn’t like it when I told him that. Yukippe always leaves her meat on for too long so she just ends up eating somebody else’s. She says Konoha always manages to choose the best pieces, so I think next time we go I’m going to try stealing some of his. I told Akaashi about my plan and he said that it would be rude and childish, but maybe he just doesn’t want to go again because he’s embarrassed. 

(Akaashi gets super sweaty super easily, which is fine during practice but maybe he doesn’t like being sweaty while eating. I don’t think it’s a problem though, because he gets all shiny and glowy and pink at the edges and doesn’t know that I can see him when he “secretly” adds more vegetables on my plate. Or maybe stealing Konoha’s meat would be childish. Hm. No, Akaashi’s probably just embarrassed.)

2\. A-kaaaaa-shi Kei-ji

I think.

It’s weird to put a person down here, especially when I haven’t put down people like Kuroo, or my sisters. Or, you know, my mom. But Akaashi’s special I guess. I like to think we’re friends, but when I think of him I don’t feel the same way as when I think about my other friends. Plus I know everything about my other friends, and I feel like Akaashi knows everything about me, but I hardly know anything about him.

Huh. 

I should probably fix that. 

Coming up with reasons for why Akaashi is on my top ten favouritest things list is hard. If I try my hardest to think about him, everything feels so far inwards and it kind of aches near my ribs, so it’s hard to reach in that deep and pull it out and figure out how to write it.

You know what? The more I think about it, the more I think Akaashi shouldn’t be on this list at all. When he figured out I failed my trigonometry test, he asked me if I had studied and when I said no, you know what he did? He only agreed to stay late to practice if for every flubbed spike, I went and solved TWO problems. And they had to be correct too! For a WHOLE WEEK!! 

I did do pretty okay on the exam though, and I don’t think I’ve ever done okay on a math exam. So I guess there’s that. 

I think that’s why Akaashi pissed me off a bit when I first met him. He would just look right at me, and it’d be like he knew everything. Before he joined the club, whenever I would get upset people wouldn’t really know how to react and they would try and act like it was a normal thing because they thought I thought it was normal. But I knew it wasn’t normal, and that made it so much harder because they would treat me worse than if I were stupid; they would treat me like a child. 

It’s not fun to know everybody around you is scared of breaking you. It’s even more not fun when you know you’re prone to breaking but you don’t know at what points. 

But when Akaashi came he was fine with practicing with me, and he was fine with staying late, and the only thing he ever complained about was when I mispronounced his name. And when he finally saw me crack a bit he just nodded and said “Alright Bokuto-san,” but not like he was feeling bad for me, but like he was okay with it and he would just wait for me to put myself back together again. It kind of pissed me off back then, because how could someone who hardly even knew me understand what I needed more than I ever did? 

But it makes sense now. That’s just Akaashi. 

Half of Akaashi’s eyes are hidden by his lids and his eyebrows push together like he’s trying to make them wrestle, and when he blinks up at you and worries his lip a bit, he just knows. 

One time I asked Akaashi if he thought I was dumb and he did his little blink like he was looking through the little ‘Bokuto-san’ file in his head, and when he opened his eyes he shook his head and said he thinks there are different types of smart. And then he looked down at my English test and said, “But just because one type of smart doesn’t come naturally to us doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try our absolute best. You need to learn the difference between homographs and homophones, Bokuto-san.” Even though figuring out the difference between the two was way lamer than a cross shot, it felt good to know Akaashi didn’t just think I was a stupid jock. And that even if I was a jock, he wouldn’t add the stupid in front of it.

It feels good to know that someone trusts me with myself. It feels good to know that someone thinks I can be better, but also understands wherever I’m at now is my current best. It feels good to know that someone’s half-lidded eyes are looking right at me and their (smiling) chapped mouth is saying, “If you put that whoopee cushion in Konoha’s backpack, I won’t give you any details or warnings of the inevitable revenge that he’ll secretly share with me, Bokuto-san.”

Akaashi Keiji makes me feel good. 

Like yakiniku good but more near my chest, and less sluggish and more like I could smash through a triple block a hundred gajillion times. I think that’s why he’s on this list. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to get off. Even, or maybe especially, at those times where I really superly duperly feel like he shouldn’t be on it at all. (TWO whole questions, for ONE flubbed spike????)

1\. Volleyball.

I don’t know if I can even explain this one. Also my hand is starting to cramp and Konoha finally texted back and said he could help with my homework. But I think it’d only be right if I tried. 

Volleyball is hard and painful. But I’m lucky I started at an age where ‘hard’ and ‘painful’ didn’t really mean bad things. Keeping my grip on tree branches was hard, and scraping myself against bark was painful, but that didn’t mean that the wooden sword I managed to make was any less worth it. And it was like that with volleyball too! Matching my timing with the ball was hard, and spiking into the net was painful, but when I finally managed to get full contact with the ball and make it go WHAM (!!!!) it was all worth it. 

When I first started, I got all those little internal bleeding dots and they looked like little ants crawling underneath my skin. I thought I was going to die, so when I went to bed that night, I prayed I would stay alive so that I could play more volleyball the next day. My arms stung like crazy, and sometimes it felt like I could never make it to the ball in time. And it was really fun. 

It’s not like the sport itself always came naturally to me. I couldn’t even do a rebound before Akaashi taught me. One time, Washio told me that when I solve some math problems, it can help to stop wondering why I have to do something and instead just study the steps I have to do. And it helps me get the right answer sometimes, but I never understand how I got there. It’s like treading water and coming across an island by accident. But volleyball makes sense. There are no accidents in volleyball. When I throw myself at it and push myself to my most, I always know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I can control myself and my plays, and if I want to do better there’s always a way. That’s what makes it fun. Volleyball is even more fun now because my teammates are really great, and our managers are my friends, and Akaashi’s sets are the best!!

It’s not just his sets though. 

I think Akaashi, more than the others, understands that just because I think volleyball is fun doesn’t mean I think it’s easy. He makes me feel more confident about having fun in volleyball! He makes it seem that as long as I try my hardest, he’ll meet me at his one hundred percent and make sure that we end up landing somewhere together. 

Before second year, whenever I played I felt like the entire world was spinning around me and I was fighting against something big and grand and eroding and I had to capture it before it slipped away. I was having fun, but it felt like everything was going by too fast. Even though I felt on top of the world, it felt like it was crumbling beneath me and if I didn’t go faster -get to the ball quicker, slam it down harder, run until my calf cramped- it would all disappear and I would be stuck floating around with nothing to show for it. Just bruises, sweaty jerseys, a beaten ball, and everybody around me shaking their heads and wondering why I had put so much into something that was going to be pulled from beneath my feet anyway, all while I had run around calling it fun. 

Back then it always felt like I could run all I wanted, but with nobody there to see why I was running and try to go the distance with me, I was going to hit a wall.  
Volleyball has always been fun, but I think when Akaashi was busy blinking at me and saying “Okay Bokuto-san, if that’s what you think is best,” I started feeling like it was something I could dig my heels into. Akaashi makes me feel like the world isn’t going anywhere without me. Like I still have time. Like even if the ground crumbles apart and I start floating, he’ll pull out a measuring tape and make us keep going, saying, “4512 kilometres so far. We have much more to go, Bokuto-san.”

From now on I think, with Akaashi, I can go very far with volleyball.

(PS. If somebody makes something better, does that make the person better than the thing? I’m only asking because I somehow ended up talking about Akaashi when I was supposed to be talking about volleyball, and now I’m wondering if I should switch their places.)

******************************************

During the next day’s afternoon practice, Akaashi Keiji (currently very open to being called Private Eyekaashi) is on a mission.

The predicament: Last night when he had reached for his Little Notebook of Thoughts so that he could scribble out some of his Little Thoughts, he had instead found a dogeared notebook filled with pages crammed with (incorrectly solved) math problems, and a heavy-handed scrawl of BOKUTO KOUTAROU CLASS 3-1 on the inner cover. 

The conclusion: Somehow he and Bokuto-san had managed to switch notebooks, most likely too delirious to notice after setting and spiking for two continuous hours. Akaashi makes a mental note to resist the immediate need to scribble out a newfound Bokuto-san Weakness from hereon in, thereby accidentally leaving his notebook out. It’s not as if he has any trouble remembering anything concerning Bokuto-san anyway.

Possible following courses of action:

A) Bokuto-san being Bokuto-san, did not do his math homework that night and instead spent hours searching up the top aces in the country just to see his name. This is the most ideal situation for the current predicament, maybe not so much for the predicament of Bokuto-san’s math marks. 

B) Bokuto-san has started to care for his math marks, and to do his homework he flipped to a fresh page without looking at the previous ones. This proved a problem when he couldn’t figure out how to do a question, but instead of flipping back and revising, he texted Konoha-san. Though this situation is still risky for the current predicament, it still passes, and Bokuto-san’s tackling of math becomes slightly less futile. However, if this is the case, Akaashi will have to go over the importance of reviewing and revision with Bokuto-san.

C) A late night shower cleared Bokuto-san of all post-practice delirium and he immediately identified the notebook as different from his own. He flipped through it and read all of Akaashi’s lists (Best Onigiri Spots Updated Yearly, The Pros and Cons of Pursuing a Career in Literature, Operations and Tactics to Counter the Soon-to-be Fallible Defence of Nekoma) and all of his very Bokuto-san-centred journal entries (“Today Bokuto-san managed to win an argument with me and not once did he use the logic of ‘Because I’m your senpai ‘Kaashi and whatever I say follows,’ so now it apparently follows that we have Team Yakiniku Bonding for the fifth time this season, and I unfortunately believe that I may be more than a little in love.”). This situation. Is. Dire. If Bokuto-san committed to course C, Akaashi’s only viable escape route would be convincing Bokuto-san that it must have been a strange dream he had and then go on a thoroughly informed rant about the importance of proper rest in order to distinguish between dreams and reality. 

The implications: Perhaps it may just be a result of the company he is surrounded by, but something deep inside Akaashi tells him it is a mortifying thing for your crush to discover your list of his 37 (and counting) weaknesses.

All situations call for the solution of Akaashi getting back his Little Book of Thoughts and slipping Bokuto-san’s Book of Little Thoughts back in his bag.  
He tips his imaginary hat to project a figurative shadow over his face. He assesses the situation. Coach is talking to a suspicious figure outside of the open gym door. Komi-san and Sarukui-san are busy betting on how soon Coach will finally ask out Nakamura Sensei (the suspicious figure outside of the open gym door). Bokuto-san is busy preening to a huddle of starry eyed first years. Out in the hallway a nervous third year girl is busy twirling her hair with a pink envelope in her hand. Most likely, either for Bokuto-san or Konoha-san. Everyone else has left practice, save for Konoha-san and Washio-san who are occupied with taking down the net. 

It’s now or never. 

Figuratively swishing his long tan coat behind him, Akaashi (Private Eyekaashi) casually walks to the bleachers, beside which Boktuo-san has unceremoniously dropped his gym bag. He -figuratively- picks up his binoculars and checks on the target. Still preening; good. Time to act. 

A quick zip of the bag is all that does it, and he quickly spots the familiar notebook. He pulls it out and slips Bokuto-san’s back into its rightful (and quite stinky) place and, just to double-check, opens up the pages of the newly acquired treasure. Relief washes over as his neat print flutters past him. The recent entry however, is covered with thick scrawl that is very much not his own. He mentally pontificates to himself as he walks into the locker room and slots his notebook back into his bag.

It looks like Private Eyekaashi will have yet another mystery to solve.

**Author's Note:**

> "Ah," Akaashi said that night as he stared at the messy list before him. It was currently covered with red editing markings, done to distract himself from the inner contents.  
> And to think he had believed to be in the midst of a predicament just this afternoon.  
> Oh boy.


End file.
